The level of child development determines the level of child behavior, because a child's behavior is a product of the child's level of development. To demonstrate more responsible self-conduct, a child needs to develop more responsible self-conduct. This is why improving a child's behavior is not an automatic result of child discipline. It requires the advancement of child development.
Understanding a couple of basic elements of child development can help you more calmly, confidently and competently help your child develop and therefore demonstrate more responsible behavior.
Child Development Element 1: Children develop and demonstrate the attitudes and behaviors that we expose them to.
Child Development Element 2: Children need to feel calm, content and secure to demonstrate and develop responsible behavior patterns.
As you parent in line with these two basic principles of child development, your child will more often and more easily display responsible self-conduct.
Since children automatically develop the attitudes and behaviors that we expose them to, utilize the first element of child development by examining your own attitude toward personal accountability.
As long as you blame your child for the annoyed, stressful, anxious, frustrated ways that you react to your child's behavior, your example instills in your child the attitude of not taking responsibility for one's own actions. Through the child development process your child might then appear unconcerned about the consequences of his or her actions and show a lack of self-control.
As you accept responsibility for your reactions, you instill in your child a pattern of personal accountability through the child development process.
To fully employ this child development parenting solution, remember that you can always improve your response to some degree. You actually can choose to respond with a little less anger, stress and strain without diminishing your effectiveness. (In fact, you can find ways to become far more effective without these painful, draining reactions.)
As you further your own personal development by developing a calmer approach to parenting, through the child development process you will be instilling in your child a belief in his or her ability to demonstrate a higher level of self-control.
Child development occurs through repetition. Each time that you react to your child with anger, stress and strain - each time that you engage in yelling, nagging, harsh criticizing, complaining, tense arguing, or spanking, you teach your child to feel and act similarly through the child development process,
As has been stated earlier, to demonstrate responsible behavior your child needs to feel basically secure, calm and content. As you deliberately replace your anger and stress with more calm, content and confident ways of handling your child's behavior, you automatically help your child to feel more secure, content and calm, through the child development process. This, in turn translates through the child development process, your child's demonstration of more responsible self-conduct.