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Improve Your Relationship With These Anger Management Tips

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

Improve Your Relationship With Anger Management

While our aim is to improve the relationship, our angry tirade virtually always accomplishes the opposite result

When we lash out in anger at someone, we are desperately trying to correct a perceived injustice.

 

While our aim is to improve the relationship, our angry tirade virtually always accomplishes the opposite result.

 

It may incite the others defensiveness, which increases our frustration.

 

It may trigger the other person into an offensive counter-attack that escalates the conflict.

 

Even when an angry tirade does manage to persuade the other person to change in line with our desire, some negative fall-out results from our assault, undermining trust, bonding and intimacy in the relationship.

 

Keeping feelings of resentment to ourselves does not represent relationship wisdom.

 

Harboring unspoken feelings of resentment causes one to withhold in the relationship, often driving one to engage in passive-aggressiveness at worst, or artificiality at best that inevitably arouses the other person’s distrust.

 

Here then are some anger management tips for solving relationship problems, including marriage problems.

 

Self-honesty or emotional accountability is the first anger management tip.

 

You have face the fact that there really are some unintended, unwanted consequences, like undermining trust in your marriage, when you lash out in anger.

 

Self-understanding is another tip for better managing anger.Understand that what you really want is more love in your relationship.  When you react in anger you repel love, you do not increase it.

 

Through more self-honesty and self-understanding you can begin to formulate a relationship strategy that works better than lashing out.

 

This leads us to the third of our anger management tips to improve your relationship: be proactive instead of reactive.

 

In other words, look for ways to help the other to do better instead of attacking in reaction to his or her undesirable performance.

 

Let’s say that you begin feeling impatient and frustrated when you have to wait for your mate to gather her things together before she can walk out the door and join you in the car on a date-night.

 

Instead of steaming angrily while you count the seconds and minutes, proactively assist her in taking care of her last minute details.

 

So applying this tip for anger management means being helpful instead of hurtful to improve your relationship.

 

Here then are your 3 simple anger management tips:

1. Be self-honest.

2. Examine your motives for improved self-understanding.

3.  Be more proactive than reactive.

 

As you put these into practice, you will enjoy more loving cooperation in your relationships.

 

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Build Your Self-Confidence To Improve Your Relationships

By Bob Lancer
Saturday, March 17th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

Relationship Strategy For Overcoming The Insecurity

Whether we are conscious of it or not, that relationship problem is produced by imagining ourselves lacking in some way.

When we feel insecure in a relationship, the cause is always imaginary.

 

Whether we are conscious of it or not, that relationship problem is produced by imagining ourselves lacking in some way.

 

This causes our lack of natural, comfortable self-confidence in the relationship.

 

A common expression of insecurity is to become a “people pleaser” by trying to figure out what the other person wants us to be.

 

But this relationship strategy fails to bring us happiness, because we still feel rejected by ourselves.

 

While pretending to be what we are not we are pushing the other person away out of fear of being “found out”, which will ultimately sabotage the relationship.

 

Here is a more effective relationship strategy for overcoming the insecurity that sabotages interpersonal-bonding: improve how you see yourself rather than worrying about or trying to manipulate how others see you.

 

The following confidence-building exercise can help you to build better relationships:

 

1. Write out a list of all the personal qualities that you see in yourself that you dislike, disrespect, or disapprove of.

 

2. Then, compose a list in which you replace those qualities with abilities, characteristics or talents that you would like instead.

 

3. Spend a few minutes envisioning yourself possessing and expressing each of those more desirable qualities.

 

Performing this exercise once or twice may not relieve you of the self-esteem problem that has been preventing you from enjoying better relationships.

 

A lack of self-confidence in relationships usually stems from deeply rooted self-concept habits.

 

But as you persevere in letting go of negative thoughts about yourself, and in building up a vision of yourself expressing more beautiful, powerful, splendid qualities, you will feel more self-assured in relationships.

 

In this blog, please share your thoughts and questions about this relationship advice, and your experience of doing this confidence-building exercise.

 

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

6 Relationship Tips For Life-Success

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, January 5th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Relationships Tips To Help You Succeed

Strategically SELECT your relationships to form strategic alliances.

A positive relationship tips the balance of life toward greater fulfillment and success.

By spending time with someone whose qualities you admire, you cultivate similar admirable qualities in yourself.

Follow this advice for a relationship that helps you to succeed: be strategic about your relationship selection.

Strategically SELECT your relationships to form strategic alliances.

A strategic alliance is a relationship that you choose as part of a strategy for higher accomplishment.

An alliance with someone who demonstrates artistic represents a relationship that tips the balance of your life toward artistic success.

Here is advice for a relationship that will help you succeed in business: associate with people who have achieved business goals similar to your business goals.

Even a romantic relationship can be seen as a strategic alliance for love.

Some people feel trapped in a dissatisfying relationship, while others feel blocked from making personal connections.

They don’t realize that relationships are manifestations, results of their own creative activity.

Here are 6 relationship tips for greater success:

1. Remember that you are free to connect with others, free to form relationships with the kinds of people that you choose.

2. To take advantage of this freedom, trust in it.

3. The next step is to think about the kinds of relationships that you want to be in.

4. List the qualities of the kinds of people you want to be with.

5. Envision yourself in relationships with those people.

6. And here is perhaps the most important relationship tip: develop yourself in line with the kinds of people you want to be with.

 

In this blog, please share your thoughts about these relationship tips and the results of your application of them.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Wisdom For Better Relationships

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

Receive your FREE advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

wisdom for better relationships

Make a list of the qualities you would love to have in your relationships, like love, respect, sensitivity, fun, adventure, loyalty

Here is some wisdom for better relationships that I have learned from experience: accept the risk of being selective about your relationships.

It takes a fair degree of trust, though, to follow this advice.

For a relationship that works for you, you need to let go of relationships that work against you, but insecurity causes people to stay in destructive relationships.

I myself feel into pattern years ago, feeling so insecure about being on my own that I clung to people who did not treat me very well.

When I finally felt fed up with my own lack of courage, I decided to take the risk and step out on my own.

That is how I discovered this wisdom for better relationships.  I almost immediately found myself with opportunities for wonderful, mutually supportive relationships.

Receiving and even agreeing with wise advice for a relationship that works is easier than mustering up the courage to follow that advice.

But you can take it from me that facing your insecurity and going THROUGH it, instead of letting it stop you, will lead YOU into better relationships.

One way to bring better relationships into your life is to contemplate the kinds of relationships that you believe would feel wonderful and support your life-success.

Put this principle into practice with this exercise:

  1. Begin a list of the qualities you would love to have in your relationships, like love, respect, sensitivity, fun, adventure, loyalty, etc.
  2. Then make a list of the personal qualities you would like the other person to have, such as a fine mind, compassion, creativity, responsibility, motivation, etc.
  3. Everyday contemplate this list and add to it. As you create the relationships you want in your mind, you will attract them into your life.

In this blog, please share your experience of applying this exercise for better relationships, including the results, and any questions about it that you might have.

Receive your FREE advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.