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Improve Your Relationship With These Anger Management Tips

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

Improve Your Relationship With Anger Management

While our aim is to improve the relationship, our angry tirade virtually always accomplishes the opposite result

When we lash out in anger at someone, we are desperately trying to correct a perceived injustice.

 

While our aim is to improve the relationship, our angry tirade virtually always accomplishes the opposite result.

 

It may incite the others defensiveness, which increases our frustration.

 

It may trigger the other person into an offensive counter-attack that escalates the conflict.

 

Even when an angry tirade does manage to persuade the other person to change in line with our desire, some negative fall-out results from our assault, undermining trust, bonding and intimacy in the relationship.

 

Keeping feelings of resentment to ourselves does not represent relationship wisdom.

 

Harboring unspoken feelings of resentment causes one to withhold in the relationship, often driving one to engage in passive-aggressiveness at worst, or artificiality at best that inevitably arouses the other person’s distrust.

 

Here then are some anger management tips for solving relationship problems, including marriage problems.

 

Self-honesty or emotional accountability is the first anger management tip.

 

You have face the fact that there really are some unintended, unwanted consequences, like undermining trust in your marriage, when you lash out in anger.

 

Self-understanding is another tip for better managing anger.Understand that what you really want is more love in your relationship.  When you react in anger you repel love, you do not increase it.

 

Through more self-honesty and self-understanding you can begin to formulate a relationship strategy that works better than lashing out.

 

This leads us to the third of our anger management tips to improve your relationship: be proactive instead of reactive.

 

In other words, look for ways to help the other to do better instead of attacking in reaction to his or her undesirable performance.

 

Let’s say that you begin feeling impatient and frustrated when you have to wait for your mate to gather her things together before she can walk out the door and join you in the car on a date-night.

 

Instead of steaming angrily while you count the seconds and minutes, proactively assist her in taking care of her last minute details.

 

So applying this tip for anger management means being helpful instead of hurtful to improve your relationship.

 

Here then are your 3 simple anger management tips:

1. Be self-honest.

2. Examine your motives for improved self-understanding.

3.  Be more proactive than reactive.

 

As you put these into practice, you will enjoy more loving cooperation in your relationships.

 

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Build Your Self-Confidence To Improve Your Relationships

By Bob Lancer
Saturday, March 17th, 2012

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

Relationship Strategy For Overcoming The Insecurity

Whether we are conscious of it or not, that relationship problem is produced by imagining ourselves lacking in some way.

When we feel insecure in a relationship, the cause is always imaginary.

 

Whether we are conscious of it or not, that relationship problem is produced by imagining ourselves lacking in some way.

 

This causes our lack of natural, comfortable self-confidence in the relationship.

 

A common expression of insecurity is to become a “people pleaser” by trying to figure out what the other person wants us to be.

 

But this relationship strategy fails to bring us happiness, because we still feel rejected by ourselves.

 

While pretending to be what we are not we are pushing the other person away out of fear of being “found out”, which will ultimately sabotage the relationship.

 

Here is a more effective relationship strategy for overcoming the insecurity that sabotages interpersonal-bonding: improve how you see yourself rather than worrying about or trying to manipulate how others see you.

 

The following confidence-building exercise can help you to build better relationships:

 

1. Write out a list of all the personal qualities that you see in yourself that you dislike, disrespect, or disapprove of.

 

2. Then, compose a list in which you replace those qualities with abilities, characteristics or talents that you would like instead.

 

3. Spend a few minutes envisioning yourself possessing and expressing each of those more desirable qualities.

 

Performing this exercise once or twice may not relieve you of the self-esteem problem that has been preventing you from enjoying better relationships.

 

A lack of self-confidence in relationships usually stems from deeply rooted self-concept habits.

 

But as you persevere in letting go of negative thoughts about yourself, and in building up a vision of yourself expressing more beautiful, powerful, splendid qualities, you will feel more self-assured in relationships.

 

In this blog, please share your thoughts and questions about this relationship advice, and your experience of doing this confidence-building exercise.

 

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Stunning Relationship Advice: Trust Your Relationship-Communication Problems

By Bob Lancer
Friday, February 24th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

 

relationship wisdom

Great communication in a marriage gives you a powerful advantage in life.

What’s the general quality of communication in your marriage?

On a consistent basis, how much loving-kindness passes between you and your life-partner during your important conversations– even during your casual verbal exchanges?

Do your efforts to communicate effectively often lead to feelings of a broken connection? Do your attempts to solve problems together end up producing more problems, like marital bickering?

Are your discussions with your spouse typically characterized by harmonious feelings of marital intimacy, or would you describe them with words like “contentiousness”, “combativeness”, “criticalness”, “annoyance”?

While communicating with your partner about typical relationship “hot buttons” like financial difficulties and disciplining the children, do you tend to feel uplifted by your mate or disappointed by your mate?

Would you describe the quality of your routine, daily verbal exchanges as affectionate or as competitive?

Do the two of you talk much at all?

Great communication in a marriage gives you a powerful advantage in life.

If the two of you can strategize and problem-solve as great communicators, you will feel greatly empowered to tackle life’s challenges.

But how many partners really enjoy this gift of personal empowerment through positive marital discourse?

What if you and your mate have communication problems that just won’t go away, no matter how hard you try to fix your marriage?

Here is what you may regard as startling relationship advice if you have been hitting a wall in your efforts to converse warmly and constructively on a consistent basis:

TRUST YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, including marital squabbling and other forms of conversation-disconnect.

If you fear a marital problem, if you worry about it, if you struggle too hard to solve it, you program your subconscious to allow it to sabotage your happiness and success – maybe even your health.

How is this for surprising relationship wisdom: Instead worrying about what is wrong with your relationship work on improving your attitude toward the way things are.

As you live in trust, you find peace, joy, love and fulfillment blooming in your heart naturally.

That worry-free state of mind releases you to live healthfully, successfully and happily.

To worry about marital discord is to deepen the relationship quagmire.

To trust your love-partnership problems does not necessarily mean being a passive mate resigned to unhappiness.

It means trusting what you cannot control.

It is part of trusting the way life is, which means living in the healing power of faith. It also programs your subconscious to keep you on track for all you want in life.

Have you applied this relationship advice in your love life?

Share in this blog any questions you have about trusting instead of fearing relationship problems.

 

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

6 Relationship Tips For Life-Success

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, January 5th, 2012

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Relationships Tips To Help You Succeed

Strategically SELECT your relationships to form strategic alliances.

A positive relationship tips the balance of life toward greater fulfillment and success.

By spending time with someone whose qualities you admire, you cultivate similar admirable qualities in yourself.

Follow this advice for a relationship that helps you to succeed: be strategic about your relationship selection.

Strategically SELECT your relationships to form strategic alliances.

A strategic alliance is a relationship that you choose as part of a strategy for higher accomplishment.

An alliance with someone who demonstrates artistic represents a relationship that tips the balance of your life toward artistic success.

Here is advice for a relationship that will help you succeed in business: associate with people who have achieved business goals similar to your business goals.

Even a romantic relationship can be seen as a strategic alliance for love.

Some people feel trapped in a dissatisfying relationship, while others feel blocked from making personal connections.

They don’t realize that relationships are manifestations, results of their own creative activity.

Here are 6 relationship tips for greater success:

1. Remember that you are free to connect with others, free to form relationships with the kinds of people that you choose.

2. To take advantage of this freedom, trust in it.

3. The next step is to think about the kinds of relationships that you want to be in.

4. List the qualities of the kinds of people you want to be with.

5. Envision yourself in relationships with those people.

6. And here is perhaps the most important relationship tip: develop yourself in line with the kinds of people you want to be with.

 

In this blog, please share your thoughts about these relationship tips and the results of your application of them.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Wisdom For Better Relationships

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

Receive your FREE advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

wisdom for better relationships

Make a list of the qualities you would love to have in your relationships, like love, respect, sensitivity, fun, adventure, loyalty

Here is some wisdom for better relationships that I have learned from experience: accept the risk of being selective about your relationships.

It takes a fair degree of trust, though, to follow this advice.

For a relationship that works for you, you need to let go of relationships that work against you, but insecurity causes people to stay in destructive relationships.

I myself feel into pattern years ago, feeling so insecure about being on my own that I clung to people who did not treat me very well.

When I finally felt fed up with my own lack of courage, I decided to take the risk and step out on my own.

That is how I discovered this wisdom for better relationships.  I almost immediately found myself with opportunities for wonderful, mutually supportive relationships.

Receiving and even agreeing with wise advice for a relationship that works is easier than mustering up the courage to follow that advice.

But you can take it from me that facing your insecurity and going THROUGH it, instead of letting it stop you, will lead YOU into better relationships.

One way to bring better relationships into your life is to contemplate the kinds of relationships that you believe would feel wonderful and support your life-success.

Put this principle into practice with this exercise:

  1. Begin a list of the qualities you would love to have in your relationships, like love, respect, sensitivity, fun, adventure, loyalty, etc.
  2. Then make a list of the personal qualities you would like the other person to have, such as a fine mind, compassion, creativity, responsibility, motivation, etc.
  3. Everyday contemplate this list and add to it. As you create the relationships you want in your mind, you will attract them into your life.

In this blog, please share your experience of applying this exercise for better relationships, including the results, and any questions about it that you might have.

Receive your FREE advice for your success through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

The Wisdom of Practicing Trust

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Wisdom For Trust In Relationships

You CAN experience more faith and less fear in ANY relationship. Help yourself to this glorious liberation by simply PRACTICING unconditional faith

When we experience feelings of deep love in our relationships, our hearts fill with joy.

We naturally want to hold onto that joy, to experience it all the time.

As much as we want to feel joyous in love, though, we soon find ourselves feeling unhappy and dissatisfied once again.

If we lack life-wisdom, we might presume that we must be in the wrong relationship when we feel unhappy.

But the fact is that sometimes we even feel unhappy in our relationship with OURSELVES.

The Wisie Relationship Wisdom Video entitled, You Cannot Get Along With Everyone, provides us with this wisdom solution:  “…accept yourself as one of the world’s sacred treasures.”

But this wisdom is not always easy to apply, just as it is not ALWAYS easy to regard our mate or even our child else as a “sacred treasure”.

To experience more love in your relationships, INCLUDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF, try this simple relationship help exercise:

Practice relating in faith.

Doing this means that when you don’t like something that you or another did, PRACTICE trusting that everything is going to work out wonderfully anyway.

We don’t lose joy and love in our relationships because of what has happened, but only because we have slipped into insecurity in response to what happened.

How would you feel if you KNEW that everything in your life was absolutely guaranteed to work out as wonderful as you want it to be?

What happens in relationships to trigger your feelings of insecurity which robs your feelings of joy, fulfillment and love?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about the wisdom of the practice of unconditional FAITH in life (no matter how others behave).

You CAN experience more faith and less fear in ANY relationship.  Help yourself to this glorious liberation by simply PRACTICING unconditional faith.

This is how to allow the expansion of love in all of your relationships.
Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Wisdom For A More Peaceful Marriage

By Bob Lancer
Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Marriage advice for couples who fight

The key is to work on putting it into practice to the best of your ability EVERY TIME YOU FEEL THE URGE TO FIGHT WITH YOUR MATE

There probably is not a couple on the planet that could not use marriage advice that pertains to improving communication.

One of the most common communication problems faced by couples is when one of the partners habitually engage in verbal fighting.

One you hear something that you don’t like, do you instantly, automatically, and thoughtlessly launch into an intense emotional reaction in the form of verbal contentiousness?  Does that characterize your partner’s communication pattern?

Fortunately, there is some great relationship help available to couples struggling with this challenge.

Marriage advice for couples who fight:

An argument takes two people.  The next time that you feel the urge to fight, simply don’t.  Instead, concentrate on feeling inner peace.

This simple piece of wisdom for a harmonious marriage may seem TOO simple to use.

To those who have already tried to apply this form of relationship help, it may seem too DIFFICULT to use.

The key is to work on putting it into practice to the best of your ability EVERY TIME YOU FEEL THE URGE TO FIGHT WITH YOUR MATE.

Your relentless commitment to practice this relationship wisdom to the best of your ability will gradually build up your power of self-control.

What does YOUR mate say or do that triggers YOUR urge to argue or fight?

What do YOU say or do that triggers off your mate’s argue-pattern?

In this blog, share what you have tried to resolve marital issues without fighting as well as any questions about this topic that you have.

There is no sane person who enjoys a marital squabble.  But the unpleasantness of your experience has nothing really to do with your partner.

As you follow the marriage advice of working on improving your reaction when you feel like bickering, you will gradually find yourself feeling more free.

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Learn From Relationship Challenges

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Successful relationship and love advice

By examining each relationship experience you can emerge with your own love-advice for a more love-filled life.

The most essential form of love advice for relationships is this:

  • Your relationship challenges call upon you to make changes in yourself.
  • When you feel dissatisfied SEE HOW YOU MAKE YOURSELF FEEL THAT WAY.

It’s common to blame our mate for how frustrated we feel in our relationship, but frustration is OUR REACTION TO WHAT HAPPENS.

Your mate is not responsible for how you react.

No one but you is responsible for how you react.

Advice For Relationship Success:

  • When you react in a way that makes you feel angry, insecure or disappointed, see that reaction as something that you need to outgrow, to change, for more fulfillment in love.

Advice Regarding Seeking a New Relationship:

  • Seeking a new relationship will not help you to experience more happiness as long as you remain in your unhappy reaction patterns.
  • Free yourself from your unhappy reaction before you seek freedom from an unhappy relationship.

What takes place in your personal relationships that causes you to feel so much unhappiness that you want to flee, to escape, to run away from the relationship?

In what ways do you react in your present relationship
that cause you the most pain?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
how personal growth is really your relationship-success solution.

Advice For Relationship Success:

  • A common cause of relationship dissatisfaction is HOLDING ONTO OUR FEELINGS OF DISSATISFACTION.
  • When you feel dissatisfied, let go of those feelings and let yourself live peacefully in the now.

Any discord or difficulty you face in a relationship presents you with a lesson that reveals how you can change or grow for more relationship satisfaction.

By examining each relationship experience you can emerge with your own love-advice for a more love-filled life.

Receive your FREE Relationships Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Discover Your Perfect Love Match

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

love advice

The real purpose of life is to learn how to live with complete fulfillment every second

How would you describe your perfect love match?

Would you know your perfect love match if you saw him or her?

In all likelihood you have come across individuals that you felt convinced were your heart’s ideal, only to be rejected by that person. How perfect was that?

The truth of the matter is that no matter how perfect a partner, or prospective partner might seem, soon you begin finding fault with that person – or that person seems to find so much fault with you that you find yourself left by the very one you thought was so right.

After repeated disappointments in love many lose hope
that there really is such a “thing” as a perfect love match.

Your perfect love match does indeed exist. But there is a caveat: It depends upon how you define perfection.

Your perfect love match is an expression of the perfection of life itself.  Every relationship presents you with exactly the lessons you need to fulfill your greater potential.

As you fulfill your greater potential you experience more fulfillment in every area of life, including the area of your love-life.

To grow into a wiser, more capable and happier person is to learn to embrace life’s hard times as much as you embrace life’s easier times.

The real purpose of life is to learn how to live
with complete fulfillment every second.

Whether we are:

  • getting along with our partner or arguing
  • feeling satisfied or dissatisfied with our partner in the present
  • feeling accepted or rejected

the purpose of the experience is to learn how to find total fulfillment.

If you are not fully enjoying your present experience, you are not living through it correctly.  This does not mean that you should judge yourself as wrong or as inadequate. It means go through the experience as a student in search of your path to total fulfillment in the now.

To experience more and more perfection in life and in love,
to find your perfect love match, look
for the perfection of the now.


Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Relationship Tip: How To NOT Get Along

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

relationship tip

The first part of this relationship tip has to do with recognizing when the time has arrived when you are not going to be able to get along.

One relationship tip that we rarely find is how to NOT get along.

And yet, such a relationship tip is really essential, because in any relationship that lasts a significant length of time, it is inevitable that there will be times when the two of you just can’t get along.

Relationship tips usually focus on how TO get along.  But just as important is knowing how to NOT get along.

There really is a healthy, constructive, beneficial way
of NOT getting along.

The first part of this relationship tip has to do with recognizing when the time has arrived when you are not going to be able to get along.

This occurs when you find either you or your partner in a very low, cranky or cantankerous mood.  Moods are bound to go up and down.

Trying to harmoniously connect with one of you feel very irritable is like
trying to drink water from an empty cup.
It is going to be just plain impossible.

Because our moods are contagious, it is easy to respond to crankiness with crankiness, and this is exactly how NOT to Not get along.

To apply this relationship tip, regard crankiness as a sign that it is time to be independent.  If you feel nervous or insecure when you cannot connect with your mate, take that as a sign that you really need this.  As your anxiety comes up, you can gradually let it go, and so “cure” yourself of excessive emotional dependency.

Irritability is a sign that a person needs some space and time to work out his or her own emotional state.  For whatever reason – it may be tiredness, hunger, a particularly challenging day, illness or something else – for the good of the relationship, let go of the relationship for a while.

If you find yourself feeling resentful, lonely, or needy when you need to give your partner some space, just let those feelings be there, without resisting them. Then focus on doing what you want to do for yourself until you find that fulfilling.

As you apply this relationship tip for how to NOT get along,
you will actually find the two of you getting along
BETTER in the long run.

Receive your FREE Relationship Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.