Parent Children | Wisie Blog

Posts Tagged ‘parent children’

Meet Your Family Demands With Sanity

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

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Once you are in the thick of raising children, you realize that it may be one of the most taxing tests life delivers, and it delivers it everyday.

We plan to have a family based on the dream of family harmony.

But supporting a family emotionally and financially is not that easy. The bigger the family the more directions you are pulled in at one time.

If you parent more than one child you know how hard it can be when both children demand your undivided attention at the same time, while the phone is ringing, dinner is cooking and your mate is trying tell you something important. At the same you might look around at your home and see mess after mess. And while all this is happening, you feel so deeply in need of a nap!

Single parents have the added challenge of having no other parent around to help out.

Once you are in the thick of raising children, you realize that it may be one of the most taxing tests life delivers, and it delivers it everyday.

We plan to have a family based on the dream of family harmony.

A common mistake we parents make is to drive ourselves too hard.

There is a far more sane and simple solution to meeting your family demands.

The moment you feel your pressure starting to mount, instead of surging forward in attempt to get it all done, let go and lighten up! This is both a self-help and a family help solution.

While one child tugs at your sleeve and the other spills juice on your foot, take an INTERNAL time out.

Remain still, relax your body, and calm your nerves by breathing gently, fully, calmly.

Stand in a juice puddle (or even the pee puddle, for that matter) and just let it all BE. Let YOURSELF just BE.

You need to live in peace and poise to appreciate all the good in your life, and to avoid feeling over-burdened, depressed and chronically annoyed.

It is our attachment to control over externals, not the demands of others or of our environment, that really drives us into an emotional frenzy.

Having a family IS a gift, but you have to be at peace to enjoy it.

And with this joy comes your power to be a better parent, partner, worker and human being.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Tags: be a better parent, child development, child growth, child's behavior, children demand, family help, good parenting, Having a family, inspirational quotes, meeting your family demands, parent child relationship, parent children, parent more than one child, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips, raising children, Single parents, supporting a family, think positive, time out
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Protect Your Child’s Self-Confidence by Heeding This Parenting Advice

By Bob Lancer
Monday, February 6th, 2012

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

“My child’s helpfulness makes my work more difficult.”

This blog contains parenting tips for parents of young children who like to help out, but don’t do a very good job of it.

This parenting problem can be summed up as: “My child’s helpfulness makes my work more difficult.”

In my own parent-child relationship, while I was attempting to unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher the other day, my confident toddler was happily trying to “help” by placing his shoes upon the empty dishwasher rack.

In his mind, he was contributing, not presenting me with a child discipline challenge.

To demonstrate positive parenting wisdom, I know that I need to be careful when something like this happens.

If I become too focused on the task of housework, I might overlook the task of effective, positive parenting.

There are no COST-FREE parenting solutions. There are consequences for every choice.

I want my son to feel self-confidence and self-worth.So I sometimes have to overlook his mistakes and focus on, and respond positively to, what he is getting right.

His urge to help is something I want to nurture, not stifle. He was not displaying a child behavioral problem by attempting to contribute. He was practicing doing chores.

I know my child needs to feel secure in my love, appreciation, and admiration – that that is crucial for his healthy emotional development.

That is why I said, “Thank you for being so helpful” as his contribution really only added to my housework drudgery.

I was careful to not remove his shoe from the clean dish-wrack to avoid causing him to feel wrong for what he did, because I feel confident that he actually did his very best, which is something I want to encourage.

As his understanding and skills improve through practice and experience, child development will make his best produce better results.

Of course I don’t feel like having to unload dirty sneakers from my dishwasher. Of course I don’t appreciate my toddler creating more work for me.

But what I want even LESS is undermine my child’s to self-confidence, my child’s self-esteem, and his drive to contribute and to do his very best.

In this blog, please share examples from your own parent-child relationship of when your child’s effort to help made more work for you, and how you handled that.

Also share any questions you have about how to respond to child behavior challenges in ways that support the child development of improved self-conduct.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Tags: behavior problems, child behavioral problem, child development, child discipline, child discipline challenge, child growth, child needs to feel secure, children quotes, child’s self-esteem, child’s to self-confidence, confident toddler, consequences, COST-FREE parenting solutions, demonstrate positive parenting wisdom, effective positive parenting, healthy emotional development, housework drudgery, I want my son to feel self-confidence, own parent-child relationship, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting challenge, parenting children, parenting help, parenting problem, parenting tips, parents of young children, task of housework, toddler creating more work
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Your Inner Source For Positive Parenting Skills

By Bob Lancer
Saturday, January 14th, 2012

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

To develop and apply the parenting skills for successfully guiding child behavior begins by guiding your own self-conduct while in the act of parenting your children

There actually are sound, positive parenting skills that you can develop for raising children to be respectful, responsible, and well-behaved.

Developing and applying these positive parenting practices leads both parent and child into the fulfillment of their glorious potential, along a path of healthy, happy success,self-esteem and self-confidence.

It honors the individuality of the child and the parent, nurturing and supporting our natural drive to master our life-challenges in our own unique, positive way.

2 Tips for parents for well-behaved kids:

1. The first step is to concentrate on eliminating your stress and strain in the way that you parent your kids.

2. Remain self-aware in the present moment to notice when you are beginning to enter a power-struggle and feelings of over-whelm, impatience or frustration – so that you can sidestep these parenting pitfalls.

To develop and apply the parenting skills for successfully guiding child behavior begins by guiding your own self-conduct while in the act of parenting your children.

Parents, teachers and caregivers make child behavior management and child discipline more difficult and unpleasant than necessary when they focus so much on what the child is doing “wrong” that they overlook what they are doing about it.

During your daily parenting challenges, exercise the self-awareness and self-control YOU need to apply positive parenting skills that nurture, protect and preserve both the child’s and your own self-esteem and self-confidence.

When you CALMLY observe what is happening in the present moment, you can tune into your own higher parenting wisdom and have your child discipline questions answered right there on the spot, to succeed with your child without draining and humiliating yourself in the process.

By observing your child calmly, you will gradually see for yourself what to reasonably expect of your child, at each stage of development, and what to expect of yourself.

As you calmly and patiently experiment with your own best parenting strategies, and remain willing to learn from the results, you will develop your own tips for parents,come up with strategies for parenting that work best for you and your unique child.

You will display a higher level of parenting skills for more satisfying results with your child.

In this blog, please share your thoughts about the need for parents to focus on improving their own behavior as key to bringing out the best behavior from their children.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Tags: best parenting strategies, child behavior management, child development, child discipline, child discipline questions, child growth, child's behavior, eliminating your stress, guiding child behavior, individuality of the child, parent and child, parent child relationship, parent children, parent your kids, parenting advice, parenting challenges, parenting children, parenting help, parenting pitfalls, parenting skills, parenting wisdom, parenting your children, positive parenting practices, power-struggle, raising children, self-esteem, stage of development, strategies for parenting, succeed with your child, tips for parents, well-behaved kids
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Motivate Your Child for Child Discipline

By Bob Lancer
Sunday, December 4th, 2011

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Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Encouraging Children With Positive Motivation

As parents, we need to live in positive motivation to pass on that wonderful spirit to our children

Here is a wonderful secret for how to motivate your child to display beautiful, responsible self-conduct and a great attitude WITHOUT you having to strain for child discipline.

Develop your SELF-motivation.

Self-motivation is a product of a happy way of life.

I’ve discovered with my kids that they definitely reflect the mood that I’m in.

When I become stressed, when I start to rush, when I overtax myself with multi-taxing, my positive motivation declines and my kids seem to need more child discipline from me.

But instead of pushing myself even harder to control their behavior with stern intensity, I relax, ease up on myself, and remember to ENJOY my kids instead of working too hard to control my kids.

As I do this, they need less child discipline from me.

When you feel motivated, enthused, in love with your life, you automatically motivate your child to behave beautifully, reducing your need to apply stern child discipline.

Since long before I had children I have been training myself to live in a mode that permits me to experience joy, peace, and love.

I learned that by slowing down, relaxing, paying more attention to the present moment, and remaining committed to enjoying my life, not just living my life, I feel more motivated.

I learned to listen to signals of my body. For instance, while writing this blog I began feeling too hungry to concentrate without strain, so I paused for lunch.

While lunching, I looked out my window and noticed the sun shining, and that enticed me. So I ate my lunch in the warm sunlight.

Honoring my feelings helps me stay motivated and, by extension, to motivate my child.

When I became a parent, I brought this wisdom into parenting. I work on dealing with every parenting challenge with fulfillment, peace and inspiration.

Happy parenting is not necessarily irresponsible parenting. If you commit to it, YOU can learn how to bring more joy into your handling of your child leaving a mess behind, fibbing, breaking an expensive dish.

It comes down to the quality of life you want.

Here is an exercise to live in joy,
so you can motivate your child automatically:

Take one day to concentrate on doing whatever you do
with more joy, fulfillment and satisfaction.

Take this into your parenting. Whatever you do for or with your child, concentrate on making it an enjoyable experience for yourself.

This blog is your chance to contribute to the world’s parenting wisdom.
Please share with us, your “parent wisdom community”,
your experiences of doing this exercise.

Also share any questions you have about how to live in joy,
motivate your child and child discipline.

You CAN bring more joy, love and fulfillment into whatever must be done, if you make that a priority for yourself.

As parents, we need to live in positive motivation to pass on that wonderful spirit to our children.

To motivate your child, motivate yourself.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Wisie Members: Please feel welcome to share your views in this blog regarding any of the Wisie videos, and to ask questions about how to make the most of them.

Tags: child development, child growth, child's behavior, discipline alternative, good parenting, inspirational poems, inspirational quotes, inspirational videos, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Child Development VS Punishment

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Punishing a child does not produce higher child development.

Parents resort to punishment to “teach the child a lesson”, but punishing children really does not teach children anything, except to fear getting caught. It also teaches them to be punishing.

Punishment is educational only in the sense that it models punishing behavior. It really does NOT solve behavior problems. It actually worsens them.

Punishment is educational only in the sense that it models punishing behavior. It really does NOT solve behavior problems. It actually worsens them.

You do not teach your child HOW to improve his behavior by punishing.
You make him feel badly about the way that YOU behave in reaction to his behavior.

Improving a child’s behavior is about child development.

Your aim is to DEVELOP a new behavior pattern.

To develop a new behavior pattern requires modeling that behavior pattern and then guiding the child in a step-by-step manner to demonstrate and practice it.

What are your thoughts about punishing children?

Have you actually found that punishing your child has ended one of his or her behavior problems?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about
punishing and alternative ways of improving child behavior.

Punishing does not teach a child to feel remorse over the behavior
that you are punishing him or her for.

The child regrets only the punisher’s behavior, because that is all that hurts.

To improve your child’s behavior, think about the behavior that you want and turn that into a goal.

Then model the behavior you want, and lead the child, step-by-step in the process of engaging in that behavior.

For instance, if your child speaks disrespectfully, and you want to change that, listen more closely to the tone of your voice and the attitude you express when speaking.

Model more conscious, respectful speech.

Then, when your child speaks disrespectfully, guide her step-by-step in expressing what she wants to say in a more respectful way.

There are many more things you can do for the child development process leading to improved behavior.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, discipline alternative, good parenting, inspirational quotes, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Mental Child Discipline

By Bob Lancer
Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Whenever you think of your child, practice deliberately thinking of her behaving wonderfully

When you think about child behavior problems, you are viewing a scene in your mind.

Notice how you feel when you think of your child behaving poorly.

You no doubt feel stress, probably some anxiety, maybe feelings of powerlessness, perhaps even feelings of animosity.

While thinking of your child behaving poorly, it is really NOT your child who is causing you to feel those unpleasant reactions. It is your thinking.

One interesting aspect about the mind is that we automatically begin looking for whatever we imagine to be true.

So when you envision your child demonstrating behavior problems, whether you are thinking of the past or anticipating the future, you make it more likely that you will SEE your child behaving poorly, and that you will NOT notice how your child behaves well.

Advice for parents:

Think about how you would love your child to behave, and stop thinking
about the ways that your child behaves that you don’t like,
and you will see how much better your child behaves.

Whenever you think of your child, practice deliberately thinking of him behaving wonderfully.

Refuse to dwell on thoughts of your child behaving poorly.

Think about your child displaying the positive behaviors you want in place of any disturbing behaviors.

As you practice this consistently, you will realize that improving child discipline begins with improving the parent’s MENTAL discipline.

How often do you think of your child behaving in disturbing ways?

What child behaviors would you like to see
in place of those disturbing behaviors?

In this blog, share your thoughts and questions about the role of thinking as it relates to solving child behavior problems.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

The Parental Involvement Solution

By Bob Lancer
Friday, September 30th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

The kind of involvement kids need from their parents is attentive and loving.

A sufficient measure of parental involvement is essential for a child’s development of a positive attitude and responsible behavior.

But not all forms of parent-child interaction produce desirable results.

Just being in the same room with a child while you pay only superficial attention to the child does not constitute constructive involvement.

Ignoring the child can cause the child to feel rejected, unimportant and sad.

This may cause the child to develop a passive, indifferent demeanor expressing a lack of motivation, self-respect and self-care.

Or it may incite the child’s rebellious, destructive behavior in retaliation.

Another form of parental involvement is reacting to the child’s behavior with a steady stream of impatience, annoyance and frustration. This negativity emanating from the parent is absorbed by the child and forms or fosters the child’s negative reaction patterns.

Do you believe that you spend enough time with your child? If not, what seems to be preventing you from doing that.

What are some ways that you can make the time you spend with your child more valuable for both of you?

Share your thoughts and questions about this important aspect
of parenting your childin this blog.

The kind of involvement kids need from their parents is attentive and loving. Child behavior problems are among the signs that a child needs more loving attentiveness.

If your child displays behavior problems, consider that the solution may NOT be firmer discipline tactics, but more attentive, loving parental involvement.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: behavior problems, child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, discipline alternative, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Long-Term Parenting

By Bob Lancer
Sunday, September 25th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

The parent functions as a sort of lighthouse for the child, guiding the child, hopefully, along a happy, healthy, successful life-path

The parenting tips presented here pertain to the fact that your child is deeply impressed by your way of living, not just by your way of parenting.

How you live your life operates as a life-long guide for your child’s life-path.

The parent functions as a sort of lighthouse for the child, guiding the child, hopefully, along a happy, healthy, successful life-path.

Your child may be observing you far more closely than even she realizes. Your modeling as a sort of compass for her daily life choices in the short AND the long-term.

Parenting tips for the long-term:
• Pursuing the fulfillment of your higher potential leads your children to become their best selves.
• Leading a fulfilling life leads your children to lead fulfilling lives.

Here is how modeling works for the short and long term. If Junior hears you speaking belligerently to his mother, for example, he will soon be heard speaking that way to his mother.

There is a good chance that he will speak that way to his female teacher.

There’s a good chance he will speak that way to his wife.

As parents we are responsible for the ways that we influence our child’s life path.

You may find help with parenting that relates to the long term by thinking of yourself casting a sort of beacon that your child will follow all life-long.

What are some of the positive and negative traits
you are modeling for your child?

What problems and what success do you feel that you were led (or misled) into by your parents’ modeling?

Share your thoughts and questions about this
important topic in this blog.

Take-Away parenting tips:
• Remember that the life you lead leads your child throughout life.
• Remember that your example is an extremely powerful influence on your child’s destiny.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: child development, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, good parenting, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting advice, parenting children, parenting help, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

How To Raise A Real Winner

By Bob Lancer
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Parenting your child to believe in herself unconditionally is the goal

One of the challenges you have no doubt faced, or will at some point face, in parenting your child, is teaching your child how to win AND how to lose.

One way that we prepare our children for winning WELL is by avoiding excessively praising our child’s admirable attributes or performance.

In parenting your child, if you praise too much, you disconnect the child from the positive character trait of wanting to do a good job for the pure satisfaction of doing so.

Being personally “recognized” as #1 then becomes all-important to the child, and the actual quality of work produced by the child becomes unimportant to the child.

Such children are prone to severe emotional breakdowns when they don’t come in first. Some go so far as to pursue underhanded means of being perceived as a winner, including cheating on tests and stealing trophies.

How they SEEM has come to matter more to them than who they actually ARE. This characterizes a child who has lost himself.

How can YOU tell when praising your child is actually good for him or her?

Are YOU too dependent upon receiving approval from others? Is your child? If so, what childhood experiences do you believe set you
and/or your child up for that weakness?

Share your thoughts and questions about this
important topic in this blog.

Here are two quotes for children that we parents can also benefit from remembering, about what is most important about winning and losing:

“Real happiness comes from doing my best, even if no one sees the good that I have done.”

“Losing is really no big deal, because real happiness comes from just doing my best.”

Parenting your child to believe in herself unconditionally is the goal.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

Tags: child development, child discipline, child growth, child's behavior, children quotes, discipline alternative, inspirational quotes, inspirational videos, parent child relationship, parent children, parenting children, parenting tips
Posted in Wisie for Parenting |

Raising Appreciative Children

By Bob Lancer
Thursday, September 1st, 2011

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

This blog presents advice for parents that relates to teaching children to appreciate their lives.

Children seem “hard-wired” for impatience. It is so common for a child to say, “I can’t wait for…”.

Instead of appreciating every sacred moment of childhood, the child wants to skip over his or her life so it can already be time to go to the circus or sleep over a friend’s house.

Advice for parents for teaching appreciation

Part of teaching children to appreciate their lives has to do with their possessions

Part of teaching children to appreciate their lives has to do with their possessions. Kids often want something new just because the see it on a shelf, but as soon as they have it, they could care less about.

I recall taking my son into a toy store once on a trip to New York City. He wanted a yoyo. He begged and begged for it. Finally I bought it for him. As we were walking out of the store he saw a pigeon, dropped the yoyo on the ground, and ran toward the pigeon. The yoyo ceased to matter the moment after it was his.

Does your child seem to feel a lack of appreciation for life or for his or her possessions? How do you typically deal with this?

Do you have ideas or advice for parents on how to teach their children to be more appreciative?

Share your thoughts and questions about teaching children
about appreciation in this blog.

Sometimes a lack of appreciation turns into children behavior problems. For instance when a child shows no gratitude for a gift he receives. In a more serious way, reckless teens show a lack of appreciation for life when they risk life and limb in foolhardy antics.

So here is the advice for parents for teaching appreciation: Regardless of how your child behaves, and even when you need to be firm, demonstrate your deep, sincere appreciation for your child’s sacred presence. This models appreciation in a profound way.

Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.

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Posts Tagged ‘parent children’

Meet Your Family Demands With Sanity

Protect Your Child’s Self-Confidence by Heeding This Parenting Advice

Your Inner Source For Positive Parenting Skills

Motivate Your Child for Child Discipline

Child Development VS Punishment

Mental Child Discipline

The Parental Involvement Solution

Long-Term Parenting

How To Raise A Real Winner

Raising Appreciative Children


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