Relationship Advice: Cultivate Non-Reactivity

By Bob Lancer
January 18th, 2011

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Among the most important pieces of relationship advice that one can find helps one to recognize and release from distressing automatic reactivity.

When you react with any form of irritation, you give yourself a stressful experience. But if you are not self-aware enough, you will presume the other person causes your reaction and resent that person for how disturbed your reaction makes you feel. Resentment then drives you into conflict, which increases your feeling of disturbance.

As long as you regard others as responsible for your responses,
you deprive yourself of your power to improve your responses
and miss your opportunity for more success and satisfaction in relationships.

relationship advice for genuine liberation

When you react with any form of irritation, you give yourself a stressful experience

If you feel stuck in a relationship problem, the perspective of the relationship advice presented here makes the cause clear:

•       You are repeating a painful a reaction pattern

•       You are blaming the other person for your reaction

Cultivating non-reactivity is one great solution. Following this relationship advice does not mean repressing how you feel. It means attaining genuine liberation from the painful reaction-patterns that make relationships difficult.

As you liberate more and more of your energy from your old, painful reactions you will no longer feel stuck in a relationship problem.

To cultivate non-reactivity and achieve your liberation:

•       See your reactions as experiences you give to yourself.

•       Practice being more self-aware in the present to recognize when you are slipping into a stressful, disturbing reaction.

•       When you realize that you are experiencing an unpleasant reaction, focus your attention on your present experience of that reaction, without thinking of any person or situation as the cause.

•       From that state of self-awareness you will find that you can gradually withdraw your energy from your disturbed reaction and experience more peace.

Following this relationship advice will gradually free you from the suffering caused by stressful reactivity.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    thanks for making double effort Madison. You can count on new blog entries from me weekly. Check out the articles and newsletters as well, and ofcourse, my Relationship Wisies. Your comments and effort really do mean alot to me.