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A power-struggle begins when your child displays the power to defy your direction.
To achieve parental control, one thing you need to know is how to end a power-struggle between you and your child.
A power-struggle begins when your child displays
the power to defy your direction.
The longer you engage in a power-struggle, the more energy you waste and the more your child learns how to lock you into a futile power-struggle.
As long as you continue using the same approach to win the struggle, you are actually perpetuating the struggle and experiencing a lack of parental control.
You will begin experiencing more parental control when you shift your focus from trying to control your child to controlling yourself.
Your child’s resistance seems to be causing the power-struggle, but it is also true that your behavior started the power-struggle and perpetuates it.
By focusing on what YOU are doing, you empower yourself
to change what you do for different results.
Move toward increasing parental control by first relaxing YOUR resistance. Resistance starts with a feeling of inner tension, pressure, forcing and conflict.
As you relax, you stop wasting energy on contending for power. This conserves your energy and brings you a welcome sense of relief.
As you relax, you help your child to relax. As you let go of your effort to oppose your child, your child will be more inclined to leg go of his/her effort to oppose you. The power-struggle is then transformed into peace.
From peace, you can move to the next level of parental control.
Consider what you want done and exercise your power to actually make it happen, without conflict. This might mean:
- taking the inappropriate object from your child’s hand rather than asking for it over and over.
- shutting off the TV instead of repeatedly demanding your child to do it
- simply letting your older child know that if he does not do his homework he will not be receiving his allowance.
You cannot always get a child to do as you want without a struggle, but you can
avoid wasting your power on a struggle and enjoy greater parental control.
Receive your FREE Parenting Advice through this blog. Simply ask Bob Lancer your question and receive his Lancer’s Answer in this blog.
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